By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, Pimps?
Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone.
It’s been … well … like a year, probably.
I’m sure a lot has changed since the last time I wrote one of these up. But why worry about what’s already been passed by in this short life of ours? Let’s talk about the here and now.
I wanted to talk about absolutes.
This piece will not look at individual players, nor tactics, nor the manager, nor the style of play, but instead the psychology of us. Arsenal fans.
As a refresher, absolutes are defined as such:
“…a value or principle which is regarded as universally valid or which may be viewed without relation to other things.
‘good and evil are presented as absolutes.’”
In essence, it’s being glued to ideologies at all costs.
“Only a Sith deals in absolutes,” Obi-Wan Kenobi said to an Anakin Skywalker turning into Darth Vader after straying too far down the path of evil.
When you get too far away from balanced reason, getting lost in the sauce, the other side of the spectrum is so small that you can’t see it for a what it is at its core. Or what it likely is, at least; a complex entity that makes sense when details are examined.
I’m blabbering here, but Arsenal fans are dealing in absolutes. Let me get on with my point.
There’s two very vocal columns of Arsenal fans at the moment. And then a third category of people in the middle of the spectrum — some leaning more one way, then others to the opposite side. The middle Pimps are the majority.
The first column are emotional, often irrational FOOTBALL fans who live and breathe every result. But they don’t really wish, or give two shits about how the sausage is made. They don’t care to navigate a spreadsheet.
The second column is packed with unwaveringly logical, left-brained, equally passionate fans who aspire to find explanation for a nonsensical sport. The type who would enjoy the show “How It’s Made.” They like problem-solving.
There’s nothing wrong with either of the vocal subsets.
I lean more emotional. I hate math and despise things like building furniture and How It’s Made. I’m also a terrible problem solver. And Microsoft Excel? Fuck it.
I like footy for the personalities, celebrations, passion, culture, and supporters. And I’m sure the left-brained people like those things too, but it’s those things PLUS underlyings.
Entities like AFTV, for example — which leans way too far in the emotional way, fully neglecting logical reason — are not the juggernaut they used to be. The overtly emotional way of fanning is getting less popular.
I think there’s a reason for it.
In my opinion, many who are acting irrational — as sport fans have for hundreds of years — are being called out for the first time in history.
“That was horrible,” said the right-brained man.
“No it wasn’t,” the left-brained man said, presenting evidence suggesting the emotional right-brained person is incorrect.
From there, the right brained man carried on eating his meat pie in silence.
Reason kills a hefty percentage of opinions formulated by emotion, hence making people who analyse with “the eye test” more or less redundant. Especially in the mainstream.
While that’s good in some ways, I think it leads to some problems.
I’m not gonna lie, there are some horribly annoying, miserable, emotional Arsenal fans that should have a sock made of facts put in theirs. But there’s also a thick subcategory of people who swear they see something going wrong at Arsenal. Even if the numbers suggest that it’s all good in the hood.
Those people will have an opinion that’s more emotionally charged, have it shot down with fancy statistics proving that they’re merely being irrational, and then the same thing happens in the very next game, too.
The right-brained fan is left wondering why they shut up.
Some educated people with numbers keep telling them everything is going to be okay, and that the issue mere mortals could see from the jump (but that apparently wasn’t actually ever there, apparently) persists.
Sometimes stats don’t tell the entire story.
They do tell most of it. But absolutes aren’t good.
Things like pace of play are not quantified.
Soft factors — like emotions and other mental things — are not either.
The other day, I was engaging with someone on BlueSky, who definitely leans more in the opposite direction to me — perhaps even in absolutes — and he said people cannot let emotion cloud judgement.
I said I agree to stop the conversation.
But man.
What a load of fucking horse shit.
He did say when such an adoption clouding judgement is made by the masses, that, too is problematic, and I don’t really have a problem with that. But saying emotions can’t cloud judgment when it comes to formulating an opinion about your favourite sporting team is stupid. Of course it will. We’re not cyborgs, bruh.
And he’s an example of someone way too far in the other direction. AFTV is too far right, and he too far left.
There’s no correct way to fan, but I can tell you neither of those sides ooze logic.
By becoming overly reliant on logic you’re sort of missing the point of professional sport viewing. This is supposed to be fun. Don’t hide under your xG blanket to avoid feeling things. It’s good to feel sometimes. If we’re not winning, you’re not happy either. It doesn’t make you stupid, being upset, even if the numbers are good.
However, by becoming overly reliant on emotion you’re ignoring some nuance. Football is a simple, chaotic sport. But it is definitely not all black and white.
So why — like in so many other walks of life — are people pigeonholing themselves into one fan category? You can care about numbers and get a bit pissed off from time to time.
And I’ll just say, I do think MOST fans are NOT segregating themselves, wholly, but a hell of a lot are.
If a game pisses you off but the underlying metrics are good, I have to tell you. You can remain pissed off. Stop torturing yourself.
“God fucking damn it,” the man at the store said. “They’re out of my Cheetos.”
“Well you have no right to be upset,” another man said, also wanting them. “Those Cheetos are always here. Look at these stats showing how frequently they have them compared to other stores.”
Can’t I just be mad about the fucking Cheetos?
But on the other hand, if you’re getting really upset … those often insufferable, cold-blooded, nerdy, coping guys on their laptops do have some decent points.
Arsenal are still a good team. Even if we haven’t looked like it lately. The Cheetos will be on the shelf again.
Let’s hope all the xG bros out there are right and we end up coming good. But we’ll just have to see.
If you want to, get good and angry.
If not, then keep calm and carry on.
If you don’t know what to do, same.
Toodloo…!
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